You don't have to be a charistmatic Type-A, white male to lead - but it certainly helps if you are.
Forget it if you are of
...a different ethnicity
...a different personality
...a different gender.
God bless you if you are all of the above and still hope to lead in this crazy world.
I don't know who told me this, who modeled this to me; but somewhere along childhood I felt that. It was at least easier to be a man, to be charismatic, to be a Type-A, and we all know being white makes life easier (at least in the US of A).
However the wonder of Christ is He makes all things new. The order of Kingdom is nothing like the order of our world. The values of the King differ greatly from the treasures of this earth. Yet even then, Christ goes beyond the majors, and focuses in on the minors. He is the restorer of relationships. The healer of wounds. He takes our memories and offers them the filter of Truth - often causing memories to be so much more than painful, but explicit reminders of Christ's work in our life.
As I reflected on the lack of strong female leaders of my youth I was reminded of several that 'broke' the rules that I mentioned.
Nancy Nelson Bliss
She was my father's mother. She was tall, beautiful, and smart. Never went to college, but rather was raised by her mom and her grandmother in San Francisco and was groomed as a debutante. She was certainly a strong woman. Having her husband sent out to WWII, she was faithful and active in the States. She would raise three children, and have nine grandchildren. She hosted magnificent parties, had large groups of friends to which she was fiercely loyal. While the Light of Christ was dim in her life, it was there and caused her to move ever slightly forward. Looking back, her tall stature shadows the halls of memories as a woman of hospitality and strength.
WCA Principal
William Carey Academy and the US Center for World Missions was a game changer for my 4th and 5th grade mind. All woman teachers, and a woman principal - they were strong leaders, of diverse ethnic and social background. Yet they all had in common the desire to teach, and enrich the lives of these missionary kids in their classes. My principal was Armenian, and because of my rebellious nature I met with her more than once. She was strong, stern, compassionate and loved the Lord. Looking back I am grateful for her impact on my life - not letting me stay in my mess, demanding reconciliation with my classmates instead.
Tuggy Dunton
This woman entered my life in the most crucial of times - I was 14, suicidal, depressed and defeated in my attempts to fix the deep sexual torment my mind went through. She was an MK who was raised in Venezuela, but had unfortunately been sexually abused by her family. Yet here she was in her 30s/40s married to a wonderful Native American man doing Native Missions throughout the Western United States. She was fluent in ASL, and did counseling regularly. While she was far from perfect, our relationship ended abruptly because of misunderstandings. She saw this broken teen, and began to speak God's truth of my identity. She worked in cross-cultural settings, drawing others who had been broken to see the Light and stood strong in the midst of racism, sexism, and discrimination.
Karen Wells
Most of the pastor's wives I met were always behind the scenes, and often absent from any real part of the church and community. Karen Wells was different, she was the wife of an AoG pastor in Colorado. She was the girls basketball coach at the highschool, taught various ministries at the church, and was involved in a large part of the congregation. As a kid her personality seemed strict and large, intimidating for a the tallest kid in the group who stuck out but didn't understand everything yet. Looking back she was a wonder. I remember a distinct moment when she came to youth group to be a spiritual parent that night. I was 13 and just beginning to go through my baggage; I was certainly discouraged as I cried on the stairs alone. When Karen saw me she came up and inquired. Her tall stature, large frame, and big personality seemed to close around me, blocking the darkness that dared to creep by. She was one of the first people I opened up to about everything, and she did the best thing a leader can do - she offered hope. She told me her story, her struggle and said to hold fast to Scripture. To ask God for a verse of promise, of comfort and of hope - a lifeline through the insanity. I still remember her verse that she used, "the marriage bed will be kept undefiled". It wasn't a rule, but a promise for her. Her strength reached across the congregation and the community to leave an impact.
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Often we can't see the beauty around us in the midst of the mud. Our memories are too tarnished to keep right the Truth displayed throughout our lives. None of these women were famous, none would be known by the world, but their leadership in the little and big ways changed my life. I still wish I could have found a woman that modeled all I wanted to be. I still haven't found her. But I remember reading the autobiography of one of my favorite women, and she reflected that there was no model for her. She had to push forth and become who she was meant to be with the strength of her husband, God and herself. I won't quit, I won't give up - I want to be the model I never had. I want to reflect the beauty of the models that I did. I don't have to be anything less or more than who I've been created. The sight of Christ offers true 20/20 vision to our blinded state. Dive into who He is, and our identity will come forth like a mountain spring.
