To be honest.

I'm not sure what to say.
I don't understand why you do what you do.
I know you've been hurt,
And life has been hard.
But the past can only go so far.

You and he, makes no sense to me.
Heart longings, and dissatisfaction.
Maybe it's alright.
Maybe it's not.

When time stops,
will we ever catch up?
Days, weeks, Summer, fall.
I've yet to say how I feel.

I'm done.
Protecting.
Correcting.
Trying to heal.
Don't put me in the middle of this.
I'm sorry I turned away.
But it wasn't for me anyway.
I can only carry so much,
before what's said breaks me.

I love you.
I always will.
But I need some space.
Some time to recover peace.
Because I want to cry,
when I think of your face.
And that's too much,
for a good daughter to feel.

Love deep.
Hope long.
Act faithful.
Dream beyond.
Inspire love.
Give hope.
Faithfully pursue.
Beyond all hurts -
I believe, but it's up to you.

The yell

Why?
Are you silent...
Are you still...
Are you distant...

Why?
Do you tarry?
Do you seem cold?
Do you wait?

I want to yell, scream, shout, fall on the floor and weep. You seem so far away from those who need you so near. Your timing is obscure, your action feels intermittent and our hearts grow heavy.

Act!
Speak!
Heal!
Why do you withold the bread? And leave us to feel like we are with the snake?
... Oh God....
What can we do?
What sacrifice can we bring?
What act must we obey?
What prayer must we pray?

To see you....
To feel you...
To know you...
And be whole in your promises...

Forgive me but I grow weary, I know you aren't intimidated by my doubts, but they drown me Lord. They feel heavier than life or hope, especially today. Precious Jesus I just want peace... To see the lame walk. To know the blind see. To see the depressed sing with joy. I know you want this too, for it is your heart I carry within me. But Lord, why?

Please, please for Your goodness, for the glory of Your name, please act soon and swiftly - our hearts are broken, our bodies perishing, and our songs fade.

For the glory of your name.
For the glory of Your good, good name.
Abba
Lord
I Am
Savior
Creator
King

Be all these and more in us today...