A Skeptic's Prayer

Tonight I attended a night of renewal at my local church. After a week where I became lethargic and complacent, I doubted God's attendance in my heart this evening. While I struggled to engage in worship, I decided to engage in a lost love, reading the Bible and journaling while soaking in worship. This is the order of events for my evening, and at the end reflection it seemed the God brought me on a journey that I wasn't aware of in the moment.
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Prayer 

I the Skeptic, doubts
I the Romantic, hopes

I breathe in with anticipation
I wince in my hesitation

Silence
           Is not Your absence loud?

Noise
         Is not Your whisper seen?

So I relieve my heart
Letting go of my agenda

Cautious but with faith

Baggage at the door

Let me hear You more

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Lessons from 2 Peter 3 - an emotional reflection with little context.

Remember
              With sincerity and weight remember the Words from long ago

Oh God, time is not of Your concern
Yet within time You act
Your patience is our salvation
Though often the source of our frustration

And so we wait

                         proactively acting towards You
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Longing and Doubt

Our mouths dry, longing for Your water
Full and ready to burst     we long
Will our hopes be dashed upon the rocks of derision?
Yet...
      Yet...
           And yet.....
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Confession

Am I the fool, the arrogant minion acting against their Lord, perhaps unwittingly?
Consumed in the world of myself?!

So Speak!

Do we hear You?
           Or are our thoughts too loud?

Prayers for the other causing Selah.
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Trepidation and Celebration

Let Your love rush into this room
Flooding this home like a mighty wind

COME

And she came, and heaven broke forth speaking
"We now rejoice!"
The Father's voice of love echoing through the celebration,
"Welcome home my little one. You truly are home."

"To you my laborer, let your heart rest. For I have met you, and I do not fail, nor do I leave you unsatisfied.
I have made the difference."
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Reflection

Remember the height from which you have fallen. Oh Ephesus you have been running in your busy, and in your hard work. Remember! The early days, your first love! Repent! Return to the things you first did, when you first drew near to Me. Work out with Me your salvation. How did you engage with Me long ago? What captivated you? Go back, and do those things.