I don't know

Maybe I don't know as well as I thought.

I know it's cliche,
You've heard it a thousand times.
A millenial standing here,
wondering what's real.

I don't doubt the skies,
though it's crashing in the night.
I don't doubt the writings,
for their comfort is tangible.

I don't doubt the Son,
for His name brought peace.
I don't the Spirit,
for She's moved my hard heart.
I don't doubt the Father,
for I know all Creation speaks the Creator.

But it's myself I'm beginning to doubt.
Maybe I don't know me at all.

This point of view,
This interpretation of things,
this state I'm in..
Maybe I don't see true,
Maybe my construct isn't faithful,
Maybe my being is askew.

So where do we go from here?
When the fragile pieces of our soul,
are left in a box held in our own hands?
We know the answer.
But is the water deep enough?

Can I jump into these waters?
Will I wade deep enough to drown into You?
The places I met You before leave me hollow now.
The words I've said before feel less faithful than silence.
The chaos surrounding numbing our hearts till we're overcome.
Will You bring in the waves of all You are?
Washing us away in the deepness of You.
Will You draw us in, letting all we are be expressed in You?
For no love is wider.
No justice farther,
No beauty more lasting,
No thought more creative,
No song more melodic,
No longing is left wanting in You.

For Your love is endless,
Your justice whole,
Your beauty engulfing,
Your very Word creates life,
Your song sustaining all we are,
And our heart's desire is made & found in You.

I don't know,
Don't know when I will.
But I'll keep moving forward,
Tumbling, falling, hurting, bruising along the way.
God keep my hands from hurting,
My words silenced when I feel like bruising.
Let me tumble, fumble and fall - but keep me from striking my brother,
Keep me from wounding my sister.
I need Your Holy Spirit to sustain me,
for I feel less and act more, or feel much and act little.
Jesus, keep me in line with all You are -
Cause my thoughts to wander towards Your direction.
And I will find peace.
I will one day yet know more faithfully than I know now.