Sometimes I am going my prayers, sometimes I live my prayers and then like today I write the words I can - hoping the Spirit will respond to the things I can express.
Growing up... God I never thought we'd get this far. My heart breaks in my chest. I desperately long for us to be all together. For my sisters, brother, and I to live life together. To experience everything like the best of friends. But God its not happening like that. God we all seem so far apart and it kills me...
Is this what is meant to be? Are we born into these family units only to depart after their years of investing into us? It doesn't seem fair.
Hold steady my heart. Let me hear You, through the madness, through the chaos, through the insanity help me.
As I lack understanding and as my heart hurts, I will trust You. I don't know anything anymore but I know You. Jesus, my elder brother speak truth to me. God my Father, I will trust Your call. Holy Spirit, my mother and sister, sing over me songs of love and peace in this insanity.
Amen.
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